Adventures in
B-School Admissions

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Carerrus Middlemangementus
Disgruntled Alumni Interviewer

Habitat: Typically found in office buildings in major metropolitan areas, if a touchy feely school, then outside the professional environment at locations such as Starbucks and other calm, quiet cafes suitable for conversation

Distinguishing Features: very similar to the more successful sub phyla Bisnis Manus, i.e. expensive suit purchased on sale at Sears, boring tie, glasses, and comb over hair style or hair plugs, species conveniently slips off wedding ring if interviewee is an attractive female, frequents strip clubs with “clients” in search of Whorus Putthelapdanceonmyexpenseaccountia, Carerrus Middlemangementus is also skilled in the areas of double speak and deception

Danger if Provoked: moderate to extreme, depending on position of power and pent up anger


Mortal Weakness: young MBA applicants more successful than he/she is, cleavage, GORE-TEX®

Comments: The Disgruntled Alumni Interviewer offers its time pro bono to help in the recruiting process, to contribute back in a way, and also to keep in contact with its alma mater. Depending on the size of its ego, this species sometimes reads an applicant’s file and CV before the interview. Carerrus Middlemangementus always has seemingly endless amounts of time to ask inane questions that challenge an applicant’s intellect, views, and communications skills – not to mention patience. Interactions with the Disgruntled Alumni Interviewer typically end with a brief question and answer period where he complains about his wife. When asked what qualities are most essential for aspiring MBA candidates, one Disgruntled Alumni Interviewer I spoke with indicated that most successful applicants have a bright academic background, but most importantly she must be “willing to date older, balding, divorced, slightly overweight men.” Carerrus Middlemangementus is looking for honest, bright young professionals who know their weaknesses as well as their strengths, who can demonstrate their ability to succeed in difficult challenges but who also can recognize their failures and learn from them. With its skill in deception and years of perfecting lame pick up lines whilst slipping $20s in the garter belts of young college aged Whorus Putthelapdanceonmyexpenseaccountia, Carerrus Middlemangementus also views the interview experience as a potential to score some “young hotties that may be a potential future business leader in the wings.”